How to tell if your relationship is over with your partner and it’s time to move on? The beginning of a new relationship is full of wonder, excitement, joy, and unexpected excitement. Unfortunately, the moment when your love story becomes a horror movie is not so impressive.
Plus, it’s easy to get caught up in each other’s world and change the way you feel about your partner; there are so many possible scenarios that could lead to the end of a relationship. But there are also some clear signs that the relationship is over, and these can help you know that things have changed for the worse and that you need to end things before it gets worse.
If you are in a relationship and things just aren’t right — what should you do? Should you give up or should you keep chasing pavements (I know you know Adele’s Chasing Pavingment but do listen it once again)? If you want to start the relationship over, or if it is already over, here are the 10 signs that can help you know what’s happening.
The Relationship Is Over: 10 Clear Signs
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You always disagree with each other
Take it seriously when there are no breaks in the fighting, and the situation seems dire. The battles have grown to the point where they need to be addressed if they have led to fighting about fighting or unfair fighting.
That said, disagreements rumble even in the healthiest marriages but not taking pragmatic steps can be highly destructive for couples. So at what point should you compromise or rather agree to disagree? Dale Eilerman, a licensed clinical counselor from Conflict Solutions Ohio, says when both partners attempt to truly listen to each other, they can accept their disagreements[1].
He notes that although compromise is an effective way to manage conflict, it is not always the best. A pragmatic step is to deal with every disagreement with love and respect.
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There is little to no room for negotiation or compromise between your competing priorities
Even the most loving of relationships can hit a snag when two people have opposing life goals. One partner wants to travel the world for the next decade, living out of a backpack and winging it, while the other is ready to settle down with a child and a white picket fence right this minute.
While one partner is willing to put in 80-hour weeks to advance their career, the other would prefer to eat together nightly. With compromise, there is hope, but without it, the warning signs are too obvious to ignore.
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It seems like you get some sick pleasure out of hurting each other or exacting revenge
A desire for vengeance, like an attachment to resentment, can poison a relationship from the inside out. Though it’s human nature to seek vengeance when wronged, doing so can get in the way of the teamwork, empathy, and trust-building essential to making amends and moving forward.
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You refuse to address the growing resentment, which negatively impacts you
This is a clear sign of an impending breakup that can’t be ignored. Sometimes it happens so obviously that you don’t even need a love psychic to get the message. Even though resentment isn’t necessarily fatal to a relationship, it can be if neither party is willing to put in any effort to reduce it. It may feel too painful to forgive and let go for some people, but that isn’t the only reason they want to hold on to their anger.
Another possible dead end is when the resented party cannot change their behavior.
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If the relationship drains you
It’s a sign that the relationship is over if it drains you both emotionally and financially. It is also one of the 37 reasons why relationships fall apart. But you have to be careful if you find your relationship tiring. You got to take a step back. Evaluate whether or not this person is worth the energy it takes to keep them around.
If you’re feeling drained but still want to keep the relationship going, don’t let yourself feel like it’s your fault. Make sure you get some rest and try to take care of yourself. If that doesn’t help, then maybe it’s time to put an end to things and go back to being single again.
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When you are not ending the relationship because you are just habituated to it
Kendra Cherry, MS, author of the ‘Everything Psychology Book,’ writes habituation [2] and taking the other person for granted can become problematic in a relationship. It’s time to end things when practical difficulties (like moving, dividing possessions, determining who gets pets, etc.) become the primary reason you are putting it off.
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If you can’t see a future with your partner
If your partner proposes, but you can’t see yourself together in the long run. Then it might not mean to be.
If you fight like animals over petty matters and your differences, make it impossible to imagine a happy future together. Getting married to them would be like voluntarily shackling ourselves to anchors, and you should know it. Sounds harsh, but you may not ever be truly happy together.
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You daydream about being single and quite frequently
Listen, it’s normal to feel a little envious when your best friend gets swept off her feet on a first date or when your college roommate goes backpacking through Europe on her own.
There may be red flags in the relationship. Still, you may not be ready for it if you constantly daydream about being single and imagining your life without a partner in a romantic way.
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If an ongoing issue is a lack of intimacy
No two couples are the same, and no two sex lives are the same, but the trouble is brewing in any relationship where the two people involved can’t talk to each other about what they need from the other regarding sex.
A recent survey [3] in the United States reveals sexual frequency is decreasing among millennials compared to the earlier generations. It’s important to be open and honest about sex needs because no two people will have the same sex drive, expectations, or desires.
One or both of you may misinterpret your current sex life status as lacking intimacy, which could lead to a corresponding lack of closeness in other areas of your relationship if you can’t communicate effectively.
Also, in a live-in relationship, you might go through periods of being very attracted to your partner and then completely disinterested in them. But what if you are not attracted to your man at all? One of the pioneers of the science of relationships is Dr. Hatfield of the University of Hawaii. She has answers [4] for couples who want to ignite their intimacy.
For men, she suggested being more experimental, but for women, her advice is to become more loving and caring to their lover both in and out of the bedroom.
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If you are harassed
This is one of the red flags! A person’s unwelcome, unwanted, and uninvited actions can make another person feel threatened. They may make unwanted physical advances or comment inappropriately on the other’s appearance using catcalls. If this happens, it’s time to pack your bags and leave the relationship.
Except in cases of extreme emotional or physical abuse, no absolutes can determine whether or not a relationship should continue. Still, the above are the indicators and signs that you can look out for to determine if your relationship has gone too far. None of these issues, taken individually, should be seen as a death sentence, and some of them may have nothing to do with your relationship, perhaps about your stress levels.
The more you check off, the more you have to ask yourself, “Am I willing to do the work to get back on track with this relationship?” Any time both parties are invested in the relationship and willing to work on it, there is reason to be hopeful. But if that isn’t available, then you and your partner must take a deep reflection.
[…] Though having a boring phase in a relationship is not a severe issue, it is still an issue that requires immediate attention. When you stay in a boring relationship for a long time you will start having serious issues that will ultimately result in breakups. […]