Moving in together is a significant stage in the relationship for many couples. Traditionally, this meant being married; however, most people today cohabit first before marrying or divorcing. However, a third option is living in different houses while being committed to each other. The colloquial term for it is living apart together or LAT.
Living apart together is not only shockingly widespread, but it is also increasingly viewed as a fresh and improved way for young couples to coexist. According to surveys, 10% of people in European Countries, the United States, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia live away from one another.
But the question remains, Can a relationship work if you live apart? To find out, make sure to read this article from start to finish.
After a breakup, cohabitation can occasionally turn into an essential (and welcome) stage in starting over and setting yourself up for future happiness. Living apart together can provide you a sense of security, stability, and independence, even while it isn’t a condition for getting married and buying your first house.
Cohabitees can learn self-reliance techniques by being in a living apart relationship. Many couples living together have complaints like “My spouse doesn’t support me” or “My wife isn’t available to me mentally” in a relationship. But we must never count on other people to come to our aid. We must have emotional resiliency. It’s the antithesis of being dependent on your partner and acting codependently.
What Is A Living Apart Together Relationship?
Living apart together or living apart from one another (LAT) is a non-traditional method of life or urban phenomenon. The choice is up to the couple; some decide to get married but maintain their desire for a separate life, while others prefer not to get married at all. Living apart together refers to when two persons in a loving relationship decide to live apart (LAT). It is a non-traditional approach that might be challenging when confronted with societal influence and family expectations.
Relationships that involve living away from one another can work for partners of any age. People who believe it is too soon or is not yet prepared to live jointly generally prefer this arrangement. Even couples who truly desire to live jointly but cannot do so for various reasons choose this solution.
Younger couples choose this sort of relationship to avoid the issues that come with a separation in a partnership, while elderly couples view it as their lifestyle choice. People love their privacy and the pleasures of companionship with their partner while they live away from one another.
Does Living Apart Together Relationships Work?
Mutual understanding and honesty between partners are essential to relationships. Living apart relationships require effort to maintain if you want to benefit from it. Separating is tough; many couples choose to remain together. But if you decide to spend some quality time apart and have faith in one another, the LAT relationship can work and undoubtedly make you happy.
The LAT is one of the more modern forms of relationships to emerge. Relationships change according to the changing circumstances and growing couple’s demands. LAT is a fantastic alternative for couples with few lifestyle similarities but who want to make their union work.
People have become more independent over time and require their personal space. Couples fight less and can spend less time together while still having quality time. But everything has a downside, and LAT can be costly, cause problems like loneliness and a lack of trust, and cause a lot of controversy in traditional culture.
Is It Good For Couples To Live Apart? Why Should You Live Apart?
Couples choose to live apart for various reasons, including their enjoyment of privacy and space, the need to be in multiple locations for a job or financial concerns, or the belief that their relationship is strengthened by not continuously being together. Couples who enjoy both their own space and each other’s company may find some solace in living apart.
Sometimes it can be very difficult to give up your work when you fall in love and want to devote all your life to someone. You can be so preoccupied with locating a new position that you ignore your existing one. Perhaps you enjoy doing what you do effectively and don’t need to make any changes; however, if your partner has set career goals that are at odds with yours or vice versa.
It may be best for both of you if you continue working for until one of you reach the top. Living apart can help with this situation since you will live in different locations – one of the reasons why many couple are in a relationship living in different cities. So you won’t have to relocate and find a different one.
You can stay where you are and put effort into your current job. Maybe your companion realizes how crucial it is for you to have your private place for comfort. Both parties should be on board with the discussion or, at the very least, be willing to give it a shot and see if it works for your relationship.
Advantages of Living Apart Relationships
This style of the living situation has several benefits. Couples can enjoy their freedom and have strong intimacy. They can add more love, passion, and originality to the relationship when they reunite after some time apart.
- Giving personal space to your partner is a must in a successful relationship. The relationship may collapse if they are always together. Couples need to spend time alone together. One effective strategy for creating a strong sense of oneself and getting to know yourself better is participating in extracurricular activities. You cannot develop your personality until you know your interests. It enables you to provide more to your partnership while also assisting you in maintaining your individuality.
- You can spend less time with your lover in LAT partnerships. You will fight less with your lover if you spend less time together. In general, a lot of people fight over things like finances, living conditions, or chores around the house. However, there is less room for such disagreements in LAT relationships. Arguing over every little thing can lead to needless stress and resentments that cause a relationship to fall apart. Less fighting can improve relationships and personal happiness.
- Independence means living your own life while still being part of a relationship. The key to a healthy and successful relationship is to become self-sufficient and give your partner all space they require to fulfill their goals. The LAT relationship gives people the freedom to choose for themselves. Additionally, it provides those who are the most independent with a sensible choice for a long-term commitment. Because of this, many widowed, divorced, and even elderly individuals choose LAT as a substitute.
- Too much familiarity and structure can be detrimental to a person’s ability to feel pleasure, especially in women. Thus, lessening this familiarity by living apart may have the opposite impact. Living apart can increase sexual desire, resulting in a couple having more frequent and satisfying sexual encounters while not living together.
Disadvantages of Living Apart Relationships
- LAT might be costly when you consider the higher living cost of 2022. Separately maintaining households costs money and takes more time and effort. Additionally, managing the relationship when you have kids is difficult. LAT relationships are not something that most individuals can afford when you consider housing rents and other costs.
- Developing trust with your spouse is crucial if you are in a relationship. In a LAT relationship, you need to remain loyal. However, some people use LAT relationships to initiate new connections and cheat on their mates. You should cherish your relationship and practice openness in your partnership if you want to maintain it strong.
- Living apart together relationship is the subject of several misconceptions. Most individuals think true relationships are ones where partners have similar goals for their homes and lives. Convincing your family about your LAT relationship can be challenging. Many individuals find it difficult to accept this situation because it is a result of modern lifestyles. Additionally, there is prejudice toward this relationship, so be ready to deal with it.
- Couples living apart together frequently experience loneliness and vulnerability. Being alone occasionally is fine, but being alone most of the time is not. When a couple is together, they create moments and memories that make their relationship work and be beautiful. However, spending much time with a spouse is impossible in LAT, which could make you feel excluded.
What Elements Determine A Couple’s Success Rate in LAT Relationships?
To make this work, you must have a certain level of independence and self-sufficiency. Consider how adaptable your job is. It will be simpler to live apart if your employer permits telecommuting or if your line of work has established workaround patterns.
Think about the distance between you. One couple I investigated lived two hours apart and spent every weekend together; they had fewer issues than the man who lived in a time zone that was twelve hours different from his wife’s; he struggled to know when to call each other.
Finally, assess how well your relationship is doing. Living apart can make issues worse if you are already dealing with serious relationship issues.
Can Living Apart Save a Relationship?
Simply put, plans don’t always come together as expected. Living with someone else can be challenging and involves tolerance, clear dialogue, patience, civility, compromise, and sacrifice. Before you experience the emotional destruction that marriages and serious relationships bring about, it might be time to think about alternatives.
While some couples decide to stay together in a miserable relationship, others seek counseling to make adjustments and improvements. A third group separates and disperses to begin their new lives. There may be a fourth alternative, an innovative way to be in a partnership with someone that doesn’t require staying together.
Reports show that several couples choose to live separately and are happier in their relationship. Living apart together can be a good solution to continuing your relationship instead of completely splitting up.
ALSO READ: What’s a Live-in Relationship?
Why Many Couples In The West Are Choosing To Live Separately
People are currently redefining how society views how to love and live. More people are choosing to live apart from their lovers, and this new relationship trend may be the solution for those who truly love their spouses but find it difficult to coexist with them.
The fundamental idea behind living apart is that two individuals can have a close relationship without sharing a home. These people want to stay as a couple because they care about one another, but their lifestyles and personalities don’t seem to mix well enough.
Though the concept might appear odd, it makes total sense. The relationship takes on a new depth when one person moves in with them, bringing with it a new set of issues and situations. Financial affairs and monotony can conflict with factors, conflicting priorities or hobbies can cause problems for one person or the other, and even seemingly unimportant things like furniture design preferences or preferred colors can cause issues.
Living together could make financial sense from a practical standpoint. Still, psychologically, a couple that lives together full-time may get accustomed to their routine and take one another for granted or make each other crazy with peculiarities and habits. Many couples get into fights and sabotage the loving bond they desire to have between them. It should be no surprise that “irreconcilable disagreements” is a common justification for divorce. That is why more and more couples are pushing to live apart so that they can save their loving relationship.
Is it The Right Choice For You?
Most partners at some point think that having some alone time would be wonderful, but before committing to the LAT lifestyle, be sure you’re truly committed to living at separate locations and carrying on individual daily routines. Make sure one partner isn’t approving of living separately to please you. “You must decide if your loyalty to your relationship is strong enough to sustain maintaining two separate households. Make commitments to live together or separately once you are 100% sure. Take the appropriate action to keep your relationship intact.
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