When someone says their partner cheated on them, it’s common to imagine a TV-style confrontation and react empathetically. But unfortunately, infidelity is not a new concept anymore. As long as the relationships exist, some people have been transgressing the rules set up for them. But if you have cheated on your partner and regret it, then ending the relationship is unnecessary.
Though admitting the cheating will cause anger and heartache emotions. But if you are both willing to save the relationship your bond will survive. But the relationship after cheating only works if you truly regret your mistakes. If you confess to your partner, do it right, not just to erase the guilt.
In this article, I will discuss the most frequently asked question: Can relationships work after cheating and its different aspects? And the methods by which you can fix the relationship.
How common is cheating in a relationship?
Almost half of the couples having therapy have gone through the cheating phase in their relationship. However, cheating is familiar; people still don’t discuss it openly. When it comes to conversation, people usually ignore the dynamics and emotions that can result from cheating on their partner.
The thin line between fidelity and becoming unfaithful is blurred in this social media and the latest technologies world. It’s mainly due to sexting, micro-cheating, emotional affairs, and texting.
Here are some common factors that influence if someone is faithful or not:
- Age: With age, people need to change with time. For example, Youngsters are still deciding whether to settle down as they want to explore more options. At the same time, some people know what they expect from a relationship and settle as soon as they meet the right one. People who settle before they are ready usually cheat afterward. Sometimes it happens as a part of a midlife crisis.
- Gender: According to the self-reported data, men are higher in percentage than cheating their women, regardless of age or marital status. However, the lack of results cannot make it 100% accurate as there can be a sudden change in the percentage.
- Relationship satisfaction: Every person’s needs are essential, and when it comes to the relationship, it becomes vital to give priority to both partners. An imbalanced relationship can lead to dissatisfaction and lonely feeling in a relationship. Besides, toxic or abusive relationships are the leading cause of relationship satisfaction.
- Integral patterns of infidelity: Children who see their parents cheating on their partners don’t usually have strong and positive future beliefs about the relationships. In such cases, knowing how the parents manage the cheating scenario and how they deal with it is essential.
- Relationship status: A strong commitment level is associated with loyalty. In a relationship where the two of them have not yet firmly committed to setting an exclusive status, the partner can see the other without realizing they are doing wrong.
How to move forward when someone cheats on you?
If you and your partner both are willing to take the necessary steps to heal from this mistake it can be done easily. But unfortunately, sometimes it can be a struggle as well. Here are a few essential steps to help you heal from the situation without hurting your feelings.
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Stop cheating
If you regret your mistake and want to recommit to the relationship, it’s vital to stop cheating on your partner. It is easier to cut ties completely when the affair has been short. But the process becomes tricky if your partner has been in an emotional affair.
If the person you cheated with is someone you see daily, like a co-worker, then you must be fixed some boundaries. For example, only talk with them if it’s work-related. When you are outside work, don’t socialize with them.
The person you were having an affair with may have some feelings toward you. You must clarify that you no longer want to be in a secret relationship or cheat on your partner.
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Spend quality time with your partner
Give your partner some space, but also have quality time together. Plan a surprise date or a night out, and consider going out on vacation together when your partner is ready.
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Make a decision
Do you or your partner both want to stay in a relationship? If you are both willing to be together, you have a common goal. Make a firm decision and commitment to rebuilding the relationship. Once you decide and start having open communication, your relationship will become stronger with time. It will take time, but your future will be worth this wait.
But if your partner wants to cut ties with you respect their decision; they are right. They need space and time to heal themselves and decide their future.
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Reflect on how you feel
It is okay to reflect on yourself before making a decision and understand your emotions. See if you regret cheating on your partner. Are you ready to accept your mistakes and to be held accountable for your behavior?
Is cheating something you feel you can do again? Be honest with your emotions and feelings. You must be faithful to the feeling to make your relationship work and last longer.
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Take responsibility
No matter why you cheat on your partner, you must be responsible for your actions. It will take time to build trust again. Don’t put the blame on your partner or your relationship. Apologize to your partner and take responsibility for your actions.
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Keep the promises
If you say you will be somewhere, go there, and when you say you will do this work, do it. Try to create an image of a dependable person by not breaking any promises you make. Rebuilding trust in a relationship will be hard once you lose it.
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Communicate
According to the research, the communication gap is the most common cause of a failed marriage. Try to spend time with your partner and be a good listener. If the leading cause of your cheating is the expectations that your partner doesn’t meet, then talk. Tell your partner what you are expecting from them for the relationship.
In a healthy relationship, both partners must understand what they expect from their relationship and partner ultimately. You can develop a strong bond by having through communication.
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Be willing to forgive
When you cheat in a relationship, you need not only an apology from your partner, but you must also forgive yourself. It would be best to take responsibility for your actions, but carrying the regrets bucket for the rest of your life is incorrect.
A study conducted on rebuilding relationships found that forgiving was the main element that makes the bond more robust than before.
Get professional help
To forget about the cheating part of your life, you and your partner must be open to identifying and discussing the main issues and problems affecting the relationship. It’s ideal to seek professional help and go for emotionally focused couple therapy.
Marriage counselors help you with emotionally focused couple therapy; that is an excellent way to work through the pain and rebuild the relationship even more robust.
Can you go back to a normal relationship after cheating? Some studies prove that people who seek professional help and work together can rebuild their relationships. Working together, keeping the commitment, and giving equal efforts is all it takes to return to normal after the infidelity.
Can you rebuild trust in a relationship after cheating?
Though it takes time, it’s possible to build trust in a relationship like before. Making a sincere apology, taking complete responsibility, being honest, and doing everything to make the relationship work will help rebuild the trust in the relationship.
Once a cheater is always a cheater: Is it true?
Are you worrying that your partner who cheated on you will do it again? Unfortunately, that can be true. But it’s not a universal truth that applies to everyone. They have already done the damage, but there is always hope if you are willing to make the relationship work.
It’s essential to regain the mutual trust in a relationship and make it stronger by forgiving and understanding each other and reconnecting stronger than before. Distrust is not reasonable in a relationship and can make it destructive and toxic.
If you continue to distrust your partner, you cannot make your relationship work again. It doesn’t matter that cheating in a relationship, but the distrust can ultimately harm it. The time it takes to take the relationship back to normal will be wasted in getting this distrustful situation.
Can relationships work after cheating?
If there are one side’s efforts to recover and reconcile, then it’s pointless even to try. But if you and your partner are committed to trying and making it work, you can return the relationship to normal. This journey will have many difficult times, but it will become healthy again. In some cases, the relationships become better than before.
Though it’s difficult to rebuild the same trust level as it was before after infidelity as the trust is brutally violated. It’s common for the person you cheated upon to have trust issues. Besides, the person used to cheating on their partner also develops some negative emotions and suspicions about them as their negative emotions overcome their mind.
In such situations, you should think of things thoroughly. Also, consider taking a break from the relationship to have a clear mind and think positively about the situation. Some couples attend relationship management workshops to heal from their past and have a fresh start.
Conclusion
Cheating mostly complicates relationships that make you unhappy for long periods. Even if you don’t feel like it initially, this feeling takes over the love of the relationship. It’s good to be honest about your real feelings with your partner.
It requires courage to be honest in a relationship. If you are honest, you can recommit to your relationship and make efforts to make it even better. You can also decide to move on by ending the relationship. Either way, you have to accept the responsibility to make progress.
FAQ’s
Can relationships work after cheating?
According to the experts, if both partners make an effort after going through the infidelity, they can work together. Besides, many couples not only survive but also grow after an affair.
Should I forgive a cheater?
If the other person regrets, forgiving someone can improve the relationship. It helps to break the barrier that has been created after the betrayal. You can reconnect with your partner better by letting the negative emotions go. It also helps you to forget things that are hurting you.
Do cheaters always cheat?
Unfortunately, cheating is directly linked with a couple’s separation and breakups. According to the research, the chances of a cheater cheating again are pretty high. If a person cheats once, he may cheat again, as he has no control over his emotions. But it’s not a universal truth that applies to all.
How do I stop overthinking after cheating?
Here are some practical ways to put your mind at ease:
- Find out the main reason behind overthinking
- Get social support
- Work on your trust issues
- Practice mindfulness
- Try changing the environment
- Accept the reality
- Work on yourself
- Think positively
Do cheaters feel guilty?
Among the men, around 68% of the cheaters feel guilty after an affair. Even when they haven’t confessed to the affairs, they show their guilt and regret through their behavior. A sudden change in their behavior will make you think if they are guilty of something.
What causes a man to cheat?
According to a study, there are six main reasons for cheating: commitment issues, lack of love, low self-esteem, neglecting behavior, and specific circumstances.
[…] If you and your partner are willing to take the necessary steps to heal from this mistake, it can be done quickly. But unfortunately, sometimes it can be a struggle as well. […]