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Divorce Survival Guide: It’s More Than Just 7 Stages Of Grief

Estelle J. Garrido

If you’ve been through a divorce, you know it’s a painful process. It’s hard to accept that your marriage is over—and even harder to figure out how to go on without the person you were married to. But if there’s one thing we can all agree on, divorce is never easy. So here are seven stages of grief during and after divorce:

Divorce: 7 Stages Of Grief

Stage 1: Denial

Denial is the first stage of grief during and after divorce and may last for many weeks. You’re not ready to accept the reality that your marriage is over. You want it to still be true, and you think that if only your partner would change or do X, everything would be okay again. You keep hoping for a miracle—or at least some kind of closure so you can move forward with your life.

Stage 2: Pain

After the denial stage, disbelief and hope for a miracle wear off. Denial is then replaced with unbelievable pain and suffering. It’s essential to truly experience the pain rather than trying to hide it, avoid it, or flee from it with booze or drugs, even though it’s unbearable and nearly intolerable.

You might feel regretful or guilty about your actions or inactions with your partner. During this time, life will seem chaotic and frightening. You might shed a lot of tears, which is a pragmatic way to cope with the pain.

Stage 3: Anger

The third stage of grief after divorce is anger. You might react violently, grow irrationally angry, and place unjustified blame on someone else. You might feel angry at your ex-spouse because they didn’t want the same things out of life as you did or didn’t communicate well enough with each other about finances or other important aspects of their relationship (or lack thereof).

You might also be angry because they broke a promise (like promising not to have an affair) or lied about something important (like whether or not they have any children).

Staying stuck in this phase might permanently damage your other relationships – relationships with your kids, your mother, your friends, or your sisters. That is why it is essential to speak with a professional to help you release your bottled-up emotions in a healthy way.

Stage 4: Bargaining

One of the hallmarks of divorce is that it’s rarely a smooth process. Even as you’re going through the motions of getting your ducks in order, you might feel like you’re being railroaded or that your spouse is trying to force you into a particular course of action.

When this happens, it can be tempting to try bargaining with your spouse—to say, “just give me some time,” or “give me a chance to think about it.”

Bargaining is when you try to convince your spouse to give you what you want in exchange for getting what you want. It’s not uncommon for people in a divorce to think they can get their way by asking their spouse for something they’d like more than they want to let go of the marriage. When bargaining doesn’t work out, it can be frustrating and confusing.

But there’s a big difference between negotiating with your partner and bargaining with yourself. If you’re trying to get out of something you really don’t want to do (like cleaning the kitchen), then bargaining will make things worse—because if they agree with what you’re saying, they’ll have no incentive to actually clean up after themselves.

And if they don’t agree with what you’re saying, then they’ll be right back at their old tricks! So rather than trying to negotiate with your spouse while they’re still in the process of divorcing themselves from each other, focus on making sure that both parties are doing their best work as individuals when deciding how things move forward.

Stage 5: Guilt

Guilt is a common emotion in divorce, and it’s normal to feel guilty. After all, you put a lot of work into your relationship—and now it’s ending. You may feel guilty because you felt pressured into the divorce—perhaps by your spouse or someone else involved in the relationship.

You might also feel guilty because of how much time you spent together during your marriage, which gave rise to expectations for how much time each person should spend on their own interests (work/family).

You might think that your marriage would have worked out if you had done this or that differently. But divorce is not a bad thing—it’s just a change!

The thing is, while it’s normal to feel guilty after a divorce, it’s important to remember that guilt isn’t always a sign that something is wrong with you. In fact, most people experience guilt after divorcing their spouses—so don’t worry if you do too!

Stage 6: Depression

Divorce is a hard time for everyone involved. It can be hard on your finances, emotions, and physical health. And finding yourself heavily depressed during the divorce process is only natural.

Maybe your divorce is causing you to feel like you’re missing out on the things you used to enjoy, or maybe it’s making it harder for you to focus on the good things in your life.

Whatever the case, if your depression is interfering with your daily life, it’s important to get help. One way to do this is through internet dating sites and chat rooms. This can give people who feel like they don’t have many social options somewhere else where they can meet new people without worrying about being judged by others or having their privacy violated by someone they just met online.

It’s also great at helping people with depression who might not feel comfortable talking about their feelings in person with other people and sometimes feel more comfortable talking about them online instead.

Stage 7: Acceptance

When a marriage ends, it can be difficult for both parties to accept the reality of their situation. Whether you are in the process of ending your marriage or have already done so, there is a stage that follows where you must come to terms with the loss of and the realities of life without them. This stage is called “acceptance.”

Acceptance requires that you face the truth: that your marriage is over. You can’t ignore the truth any more than you could ignore your ex-spouse when they left—but rather than dwelling on what happened, you must come to terms with it and move on.

This may seem like an easy task, but it isn’t always easy. There are many reasons why couples stay in marriages even after they’ve become unhappy—but no matter what those reasons are, if you’re not ready to leave yet, then at least try to understand why someone else would want to stay longer than necessary.

FAQs On Divorce 7 Stages Of Grief

• What are the seven stages of grief after divorce?

The first stage is anger. The second stage is bargaining, it’s a natural response to anger. The third stage is denial. Stages four through five are depression and fear, while stage six is acceptance. And finally, at the seventh and last stage of divorce grief, you’ll move into acceptance—you’ll accept that your marriage is over, and you’re ready to move on with your life.

• What does denial feel like in a falling relationship?

You may feel like this is not true or that it can’t be true because they never said anything about filing for divorce before their separation or told you they were thinking about doing this. You may try to talk them out of it or convince them that there has been some kind of mistake.

If this doesn’t work, then denial becomes a strong part of grieving because you don’t want to accept the reality that they are leaving, but they won’t listen to reason, so denial becomes more entrenched until, eventually, you begin to accept what has happened and begin mourning their loss by accepting their decision without fighting back against it anymore.