How does a relationship start? 10 tips to build a healthy relationship

According to the model of love shown in movies, when you meet your Mr. Right, you instantly get the thunderbolts of passion. Or sometimes, there are dislike feelings in the start that turn into love and positive feelings later on. These feelings become mutual, and after going through enough problems, you have a never-ending, problem-free happy ending.

But in the real world, many relationships start that way. Whether you met someone for the course of work or hobbies, a relationship can start in any possible way and at any speed.

Romantic relations are not only fun but can also be confusing a lot of the time. Starting a new relationship is one of the most complex parts. Finding a good person that meets your expectations of a partner takes time. While getting to know them, you automatically enter into romantic feelings. You can have a healthy and long-lasting relationship if you both feel comfortable and compatible.

It takes a lot of patience to start a new relationship. Usually, the relationship starts with a lot of attraction and chemistry together. When you understand the foundations of an everlasting relationship, you can have a beautiful future together. In this article, I will take you through the fundamental steps of how a relationship starts.

How does a relationship start?

How does a relationship start?

Here are the ten typical initial stages of how a relationship starts:

  1. Make a list of qualities you find attractive.

Some people want to be in a relationship because they just don’t want to be single anymore. Though it can fill the gap, it’s not guaranteed to make you happy long-term. Instead, ask yourself the qualities you want in your partner and your expectations from your relationship. Search for these qualities you want in the relationship. Think like that:

  • Do you want a guy who is family or carrier oriented? What makes you attracted to the other gender? Do you want your partner to be predictable or spontaneous?
  • These traits should be a compliment to your happy life. But don’t depend on others to make you happy you have to be yourself as the priority.

  1. Spend more time.

Spend more time

Once you find someone you are attracted to, spend more time together. Meet up with them on lunch; go out on dates, or even for a walk to have some deep talks. The main thing is that it will help you to spend time together and understand him closely.

Seeing each other a few times a week is perfect, but meeting daily in a new relationship can have a harmful impact. Giving each other space at the start of a relationship makes it even more vital. It shows them you are not clingy, that most people find an unattractive trait in their partner.

  1. Know each other better.

While spending time with your potential partner, ask him genuine questions and notice how he answers your questions. It’s always better to know the person as it makes you fall for the other person. The deeper your relationship grows, the more you understand each other.

You can ask different questions, like what they enjoyed doing as a kid. Or is there any family member living nearby? Try to delay a romantic relationship till you feel comfortable with them. It will also avoid any misunderstanding after you have hooked up.

  1. Enjoy doing things together.

The ideal way to find out if your partner also enjoys doing such things is by going to the places you love and enjoying the moments together. Indeed, you will find a perfect person who enjoys doing the same things. It’s a perfect way to start a relationship, as when you are doing things you love, you will attract a person who loves doing things the same way.

If you are a person who loves reading books, then join a book club with people around your age. Or there are many clubs, groups, and organizations from the book to the adventures that can help you find someone who shares your interests.

  1. Have a closer look at your social circle.

When you want to start a relationship, you first need to have a deep look at your friends or friend’s friend, as they are the people who mostly have common interests and know people who have the same interests as you.

Sometimes a relationship starts with a friendship, and slowly, the feelings grow stronger together, resulting in a relationship. But don’t try forcing a relationship on a friend, as it will be a failed relationship and a failed friendship.

  1. Develop trust.

Developing trust in a relationship takes a lot of time. You and your partner both have to make time for the relationship. Keep your promises together, whether about any house chore or anything. By keeping your promises, you show the other person you are dependable.

Try to always be honest in your relationship. If they want to talk about something you are uncomfortable with, talk with them to let them know how you feel. Tell them you are not comfortable talking about that, and you will let them know whenever you are ready to talk about it.

Trust develops in a relationship with time. It’s always good to open up to someone you like. Not only show them your positive side but also make them aware of your insecurities and your fears. It will help in creating a more profound connection that is everlasting.

  1. Trust your instincts.

There is no way to tell if someone is willing to date you and that relationship will be a success later on. However, listen to your instincts. You can pick up the non-verbal cues of how someone behaves and if they give hints.

It’s essential to be honest with yourself if you see these signals or are just thinking about them.

  1. Show your interest.

Though you two frequently go on dates and meet each other frequently, the other person can’t be sure of your true feelings until you tell them. Let the person know you like them and show you want to have a relationship with them. But, before that, prepare yourself for both answers, whether it’s in your favor.

For example, you can start saying that you two have been going on dates for a while, and you know that you both enjoy each other’s company. Let them know that you want to be in a serious long-term relationship and feel it’s the right time to be together.

  1. Commitment.

When you reach this stage of a relationship, you have a good understanding of your partner’s values, style, and plans. You came to know each other’s friends and family. When the partners plan their future together, there must be honest and open conversations.

A clear conversation should be about the career, finances, lifestyle, future goals, and children. It’s common to have different opinions, but what counts is how you manage to handle them.

Couples need to talk about all the things that can affect them emotionally later on. It’s easier to break an engagement than get married and go through the divorce and all the related torture.

  1. Discuss boundaries.

Once you decide to be in a relationship, there are specific rules for which you must prepare yourself. But you must set rules and boundaries as it varies for every couple and every person. Try to sit down to discuss the boundaries together and your future expectations from the relationship.

For example, your partner is his ex’s friend, but that makes you uncomfortable. Sit together to discuss things and find a solution in which you both are comfortable. By setting certain boundaries, you and your partner will not have any problems that make your relationship uncomfortable due to unspoken problems.

How often a romantic relationship does starts from a friendship?

In different self-reported studies, around 1900 people were asked some questions. The question was; what was your relationship with your partner before you came into a romantic relationship?

The answer includes the following answers:

  1. Acquaintances
  2. Friends
  3. Friend of a friend
  4. Worked together
  5. Never met before
  6. Others

The researchers state that about 68% of relationships are budded on friendship. The studies also found that most long-term studies were of months and years. And another study on college students shows that the friendship stage lasts for two years till they turn their friendship into a romantic relationship.

The interesting thing in these studies was that the participants claimed that becoming friends is a better way to start a relationship. It is even better than meeting through mutual friends, at work, at social gatherings, or in a club.


How does a relationship start?

Here are the seven most effective tips to start a solid and long-lasting relationship:

  1. Try new things together.
  2. Surprise them with a gift.
  3. Give them compliments.
  4. Plan fun dates together.
  5. Build your physical closeness.
  6. Communicate honestly and openly.
  7. Treat them the way you want to be treated.

What happens in a first relationship?

The first relationship is fascinating as it is a new learning experience. The best thing you can learn from a first relationship is your true feelings and self. You learn what you want in your partner, making you the best version of yourself.

Who falls first in a relationship?

A study found that men usually fall in love quicker than women, and the reason can be biological. A study of 172 college students explains that men fall in love first and express their feelings towards women.

What is the reason for the failed relationship?

There are different reasons for failed relationships, including the lack of communication, the difference in priorities, little intimacy, and lack of trust and respect.

What not to do in a relationship?

Here are a few things you should avoid doing in your first relationship:

  • Moving too fast.
  • Being rigid in your requirements.
  • Imbalance in the relationship.
  • Ignoring the red flags.
  • Posting everything online.
  • Not discussing boundaries at the start of a relationship

How can I know if he loves me?

If he genuinely loves you, there will be little signs in his body language, like how he prioritizes you and how he goes up and beyond to make you feel special. He will say good things to you and will ask your opinion on the things that matter.

What makes a relationship last?

The couple bond that is deeply caring and comfortable. According to the research, the happiest and long-lasting couples are best friends. They are used to enjoying each other’s company, relying on each other for emotional or financial support, enjoy spending free time together. And most importantly, they have many everyday habits.

Is the first breakup hard?

The first love breaks up, hurts so much, and leaves the feeling of disappointment and loss for a long time. But honestly, it’s a part of growing up; growing up is not easy.

R Sehar

R Sehar

I am a licensed therapist and life coach who specializes in relationships. I help strong, empowered women develop healthy, fulfilling relationships with themselves and those around them. My clients often struggle with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression & addiction. I work with them to create a healthier mindset and lifestyle that supports their worthiness for love.

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