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Reasons for Breaking Up: The 37 Reasons why relationships fall apart

Estelle J. Garrido

Reasons for breaking up are so many, but there are 37 common indicators why relationships fall apart. Couples do not like to think about splitting up, yet the unfortunate truth is that it does happen frequently.

As many as 50% of American marriages ultimately end in divorce, according to new research from the American Psychological Association. How can you know if your relationship will last? Proven indicators include your bedtime routine, how you quarrel, and how frequently you speak.

Also, how you conduct your regular discussions can reveal how long your relationship will last. The goal of this post to give you an idea on the 34 common reasons for breaking up – if you can overcome them congrats!

Here are the most common reasons for breaking up

1. Lack of Communication:

Lack of communication is often cited as the #1 reason for breaking up.The problem starts with communication gap – it is when when you can’t express yourself to your partner. It is also when you can’t talk clearly about your expectations.

Quality communication between partners raises relationship quality, and happier couples share more frequently. According to published studies in the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 53% of the 886 couples surveyed reported poor communication as one of the most frequent causes of separation.

2. Lack of Emotional Connection:

Lack of emotional chemistry is one of the most frequent causes of divorce in relationships. True intimacy is a bonding that goes past attraction and sexual desire. Making connections and developing a relationship with one another over time lead to a strong bond between couples. An absence of emotional connection can cause a relationship to feel unfulfilling and uninteresting.

3. Long Distance Relationship:

Couples in long-distance relationships frequently split up because one spouse makes little effort to meet in person or make long-term plans. According to research, long-distance couples who don’t make arrangements to move in together report higher anxiety levels, poor communication, and lower levels of relationship satisfaction.

4. Not Being Good Friends:

There are plenty of reasons for breakup and not being good friends. Being friends with your spouse is equally as fundamental as being a love partner. A scientific analysis published in the Journal of Happiness Studies indicates that best friends experience twice as much fulfillment and happiness in life as other couples. Why do relationships end? Couples without this unique connection may feel distant from their partner and struggle to navigate their relationship after the excitement of physical touch has gone.

5. Financial Problems:

Why do people leave the ones they care about? Money might occasionally be the cause of their relationship problems. This might be brought on by disagreements about how much should be spent, saved, kept, distributed, or misused. According to data on relationships ending in divorce, money is one of the most frequent reasons for arguments between married couples.

6. Not Agreeing on the Same Thing:

There is no doubt that Virgil had never been in a committed relationship when he said that “love conquers all.” Yes, love can get past many obstacles, but if there’s one thing it can’t, it does not agree on the same things. The relationship will dissolve if you and your spouse can’t agree on important choices like where to live, whether to have children or not and how much money to invest and spend.

7. Demanding Too Much:

Your partner is probably doing their best, but as humans, they occasionally make mistakes and screw up. And while a supportive and helpful partner deals with these slip-ups maturely, an uncaring one will view their spouse as if they should be flawless all the time, which can anger both parties.

8. Avoiding Conflict due to fear of being Alone:

Because they are scared of being alone, many individuals will avoid disputes and act as if the problems in their partnership don’t exist. This tactic, however, ends badly because conflicts always emerge at some point, usually when it’s too late to resolve them.

9. Expressing feelings only through body Language:

Couples often communicate honestly and openly about their emotions and feelings in the early stages of a relationship. But as time goes on, many people ruin their relationships by believing that their partner should be capable of reading their body language and intuitively understanding what is happening in their heads.

10. Jealousy:

Is your lover extremely jealous? Do you frequently provide proof of your activities to your partner or grant them access to your apps and chats to control their insecurities? Intense jealousy can be debilitating and is one of the reasons for breaking up.

11. Comparing everyone else’s Relationship to yours:

Your relationship will seem worse when you start to feel how everyone else is doing better than you with their partners. However, comparing yourself will make you feel terrible. Ultimately, you’re destroying what little of your relationship is still recoverable.

12. Abuse:

If your partner is acting vindictively physically or emotionally, that is one of the main reasons you should end the relationship. According to statistics, violence between intimate partners affects upwards of 10 million men and women annually in the US. This usually includes physical harm, harassment, blackmail, and other victimization techniques.

13. Drug Abuse:

Why do relationships end? What’s a justification for a breakup? No relationship, romantic or not, should endure any form of abuse. On top of being physically and emotionally damaging, the usage of alcohol and drugs is one of the most significant indicators of divorce, according to a study.

14. Lack of Sexual Intimacy:

Lack of physical intimacy is one of the main reasons for breakups. In a relationship, sex alone is not enough, but that doesn’t suggest it isn’t essential. The bond hormone called oxytocin is released by sexual intimacy in addition to making you feel lovely. This natural love juice aids in strengthening emotions of love and connection as well as trust. Intensive emotional intimacy in relationships is also predicted by sexual pleasure in couples.

15. Misdirected Rage:

How frequently have you had a difficult day at the office and been miserable when you got home? You know what? That’s unfair, and it will hurt your relationship. Bringing a lot of bad energy home when you get back can only make matters worse. Just asking for a cuddle and saying, “Honey, I’ve had a bad day,” will quickly shift your mood and provide the comfort you need.

16. Not Being Supportive:

If you can’t be there for the person you love when they’re upset or stressed out due to a traumatic incident, you’re telling them it’s not worth your effort and time. Your loved one feels unworthy as a result. It’s time to go if you can’t support your spouse and don’t want to make changes. Be supportive if you wish to keep your relationship.

17. Bad Friends:

There are two possibilities if your partner despises your friendships: Either there is a problem with control here, or these people are bad and shouldn’t be in your life. You should consult a counselor together if you or one of you have a control issue. You have to find some other individuals to spend time with if your “friends” misbehave or show disrespect to your partner.

18. Refusing to show Affection:

The one you love will ultimately stop requesting your love if you aren’t polite to them. We stop asking after receiving enough negative responses. Just attention, such as cuddling or kissing on the couch, is what I mean—not sexual activity.

19. Lying:

Financial difficulties cause more than 30% of divorces. If you are planning to steal from somebody you care about, you need to get assistance because you have a problem. You still need to seek counseling even if you feel obligated or your lover is a freeloader. You may as well give up if you can’t figure things out.

20. Giving Up:

The couples who put in the effort and overcome obstacles are the ones who endure over time. When you conflict with one another, there is a procedure that needs to be taken into account. Surrendering isn’t the same as giving in. Compromise is a critical component of relationships. Additionally, keep in mind that you can differ rather than be rude.

21. Always Fighting:

Couples can reconcile quickly after fighting over the simplest issues. However, if your arguments frequently become so heated that they take a significant portion of your time together, you must not be genuinely in love but rather at war. Conflict is inevitable in a relationship, but only to a certain extent. There may not be much love if you regularly argue with one another.

22. Chronic Dismissal:

Over the course of their long-term relationships, couples may encounter typical challenges that might lead to a lack of surprise and adventure, such as drifting into a pattern or letting a relationship become a habit. When that occurs, “it’s simple to stop trying and start taking our spouse for granted. Nobody likes feeling unimportant; chronic dismissal is the worst form of this attitude.

23. Not giving enough space to grow:

Relationships take numerous forms. While some relationships allow for partners to change during a partnership, others might not. The latter, however, “takes a toll throughout time to the point that emotional intimacy is gone due to new hobbies, interests, and habits. This problem occasionally surfaces with empty nesters, when partners may find they no longer share much in common outside their children.

24. Having Different Values:

You and your spouse might experience this feeling during your long-term relationship. It can be hard to comprehend how you and your mate value different things. As we grow older, we frequently become more conscious of our beliefs and are less inclined to live against them. People change throughout time. Therefore it’s feasible that you or your spouse have undergone too many changes for your current relationship to function as well as it once did.

25. Bad Timing:

Sometimes you fall in love with the right guy at the wrong point in your life. Perhaps it’s time to end things if you are ready to get married and they aren’t even thinking about ending it next week. This will give you some space and help you see things more clearly.

26. Not accepting each other:

Rarely do relationships end without any obvious cause. However, there isn’t always a clear-cut reason for a relationship to break up, like adultery or abuse. There are numerous reasons why relationships end. Couples separating from one another can occasionally be caused by anything as simple as not accepting your partner for who they are. Never enter a relationship with the expectation that your partner will change.

27. Not Showing Respect:

The lack of respect in the partnership is one of the most prevalent causes of divorce among spouses. Couples that don’t respect one another face limit crossing, tension, and low self-esteem.

28. Cheating on your Partner:

One of the most frequent causes of couples failing is infidelity. Adultery or extramarital affairs were among the most widely mentioned causes of divorce in the Oklahoma survey of divorcees conducted in 2001.

29. Too much Affection:

All new couples indeed display some affection, but showing too much of anything positive can sometimes cause issues. In contrast to couples who were less overtly affectionate at the beginning of their marriage, those who showed excessively intense amounts of affection were more likely to divorce in the long run. It is discovered in a widely accepted 2001 research paper published in the journal Interpersonal Relationships and Group Processes. It is tough to keep up the intense spark that a couple had at the beginning of their relationship, so it will inevitably burn out sooner than one that begins as a moderate spark.

30. Problems in the Bedroom:

Sometimes problems in the bedroom lead relationships to end rather than conflict. Relationship therapist Elly Prior of the United Kingdom observed on her site that “issues with love-making” and libido loss are both commonly cited concerns in faltering or broken relationships.

31. Lack of Balance:

A psychological imbalance between couples is a distinguishing factor in breakups. One or both parties may believe they have no power over the other when one feels they have changed or adapted more than the other. Couples must adjust to new situations, roles, and life experiences as their relationship progress through time. Frustration may develop if one partner handles most of the change.

32. Not helping out with problems:

You are alone responsible for maintaining the home because your partner barely makes any financial contributions and even overlooks household duties. It can become stressful for you, and although you want to talk about it with your spouse, you decide against doing so out of concern for their response. You two will likely argue, but you choose to avoid it by being silent. This may cause you to become hateful and end the relationship.

33. Dominating your Partner:

If one party in a relationship controls all aspects of the relationship, the other partner will undoubtedly feel unimportant. For instance, you are able to socialize with your friends whenever you want, but your partner has to receive approval from you beforehand if they want to do the same. Similarly to manipulating a partner, in this case, you are controlling them and making sure everything is done according to your wishes.

34. Not trusting each other:

You two will always conflict if you are in a romantic relationship with a habitual liar because you can never trust them. You have to gain and develop trust throughout your relationship. However, once damaged, the cracks won’t go away. It’s also possible that despite your partner’s apparent honesty, you cannot help but be wary of everything they say or do because of your lack of confidence. Such a lack of faith could ruin your relationship and irritate you both.

35. Stuck in the past:

Probably you have had a moment in your life when a loved one deceived you. You probably retreated within yourself after a painful experience, and as a result, you cannot trust anyone, not even the person you love. This mistrust can prevent you from dating and can sabotage your chance of finding true love.

36. Being Selfish:

For your partnership to succeed, you must attend to your partner’s needs just as diligently as yours. Your partner could become angry with you if you only think about what you would like and never ask what they want. They could feel abandoned and decide they do not wish to remain in a situation where they are not appreciated.

37. Holding Grudges:

If you want your love to last, you must be willing to overlook and forgive your partner’s minor transgressions. They may be afraid of clashings with you if you harbor grudges and constantly remind your partner of the mistake they committed in the past. This is because you will always bring up memories they want to forget.

People tend to think that their union will continue forever when they fall in love. But as time goes by, love dwindles, and one or more of the above 37 reasons for breaking up become prevalent. Despite the couples’ best efforts, they might be unable to overcome their differences. Relationships can terminate for various reasons, including infidelity, personality conflicts, a lack of supportive interactions between partners, a lack of sexual closeness, and a general lack of relationship pleasure. Even while relationship ups and downs can bring two people closer together, it is best to split ways if there is no peace, no love, and no respect since it is crucial for building a relationship. These are some of the prominent reasons for breaking up. If you can handle and overcome most of them, you’ll have a good chance of succeeding in your relationship.

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