What is dating like in your 30s? Tips and tricks

Dating can be challenging at any age, but dating at 30 comes with a new set of shades. If you have nailed dating in your 20s, you might feel overwhelmed while in your 30s. Dating in your 30s is very different from dating in your 20s. Though there are some drawbacks, it also comes with many benefits.

Dating in the 20s can be scattered like a disco ball, while dating in the 30s is more like a laser beam, which is sharp and focused. People usually ask; what is dating like in your 30s? In the 30s, you know what you are looking for in your partner. You don’t waste time on the potentially fewer relationships and go towards the more aligned connections.

Knowing what you want in a relationship means you don’t waste time on unnecessary things. While on the other hand playing field will also become narrow when you have to do more than in your previous decade. In this decade, you become devoted to your career, and sometimes you have to develop trust issues. Besides, at this stage, you will have few single friends that will build up the pressure.

Is it harder to date in your 30s?

Some dating aspects make dating in the 30 a lot different and a little more complicated. The most common example is the decrease in the candidate pool size. You don’t meet at school gatherings, and as you focus on your career, you may also not attend social meetings.

Social gatherings, parties, and schools are the places for fresh encounters in the twenties. Besides the narrow field, dating in the 30s means that you have probably endured a fair share of failed relationships. After going through the betrayals, the fun and innocent side of dating can be lost in the 20s.

Why dating in the 30s is better for some people?

For some people, dating life improves after hitting their 30s. In the thirties, you are well aware of your needs and nature. Your past relationships make you aware of the qualities you are looking for in your partner. The failed relationships make you realize your past mistakes. In short, your experiences help to make a clear picture of a potential partner.

Though courtship is more complex than it sounds, that’s okay. Instead of considering the liking factor, you want someone who can support your desired outcome. It will decrease the number of your dates, but with the increase of wisdom, the quality will also increase.

  1. A better idea of what you want

Among many men and women, the most common thing that all say was having a better of your desires in a potential partner. Think for yourself; we start thinking about our potential partner when we are 15. Most of the qualities were from the imaginary world, but our experiences in our 20s made us realize what we look for in a potential partner.

Youngsters used to be attracted to the party life that is luxurious and glamorous, but with time you come to know how difficult it is to keep up with your ex. You may want to have a career-oriented partner, but you don’t like them to be constantly busy and ignoring your calls and texts.

In the end, a better idea of the needs comes with the experiences of your dating life. The more you date, the better you will know what works for you.

  1. Past dating experience

Let’s try not to put all the blame on our exes (except Jake; that was his entire fault). I admit that I was often selfish not to compromise things I was unwilling to do. A few times, I wrote off people who may be doing deserve that. It’s not because I was selfish but because I was in the wrong headspace.

But, instead of blaming myself badly, I add it to my life experiences book and vow to do better in the future. My main rule while dating someone was not to endure the aggressive behavior of my partner while dating, and I held myself accountable in the same direction.

In a relationship, you will get as much as you put in. How can we expect someone to be honest, compassionate, and open with me while I do the opposite?

  1. You have more stable income sources

What is dating like in your 30s? Okay, all the dating in your 30 advantages doesn’t revolve around self-development and self-reflection. Here are some pure logistic benefits. If, in the past decade, you were busy focusing on your career, hopefully, you will have more cash in your account.

Having more money means instead of meeting your date in the local bar, and you can invite them to a buzzing tasting menu or book a glorious trip for your partner who you have been seeing for a month or two. Even if things don’t work out between you two, you will at least have a more exciting date than sipping the watery beer at the local dive bar.

10 tips to successfully date in your 30s

10 tips to successfully date in your 30s

After extensive research, we have come up with some crucial tips to date in your 30s:

  1. Know your desires

In the mid-20s, every other person is looking for a partner who drives a nice car and can afford to treat you to a luxurious restaurant. Though these are great things in your 30s, you will want different things in your potential partner. In your 20s, you don’t have any specific preference, making you prone to dating people to get new experiences. But while you are in your 30s, your previous dating experience pays off.

If you have never thought about your expectations of your partner, then it’s time to figure it out. Write the names of the people you have dated. After getting the list, mention five things you like most about them and five you hate. Is there any specific pattern? What you want about your partners are the qualities you should look for in your potential partner.

  1. Be vulnerable

Past unsuccessful relationship experiences develop a natural defense mechanism that makes you put the guard up in front of other people. You will not let anyone near you, so you don’t get hurt again. But the main thing to realize is that if you don’t let anyone get in, how you will find your soul mate?

While meeting someone, if you find a mutual connection, then let your guard down for them. You may feel anxious sometimes, but the good news is that your past experiences have thickened your skin. You must understand that it’s not meant to be if the relationship isn’t working out. But at least you put yourself out there and will not regret it later.

  1. Don’t rush

It’s common to get attracted to the things you don’t have. You haven’t met your soul mate, you aren’t married, and you don’t have any kids. Having a desire for these things is okay but interviewing every person you meet to see if she has those qualities is not acceptable. It’s not okay to search for a partner that fulfills your expectations.

When choosing a life partner, scarcity and fear can be your biggest enemies. First, try to focus on having fun and knowing each other. Some people get married and have their kids in their 20s, while some have all these things in their 40s or 50s. Instead of regretting later, wait for your potential partner to see what life has in store for you.

  1. Be open to a broader age range.

Think by yourself; does age matter in a relationship? Not so much. When dating in your 20s, you become more accepting of the age range while selecting your potential partner. But it also comes from the person’s view of their life and maturity level.

Refrain from rejecting people if you think they are too young or too old for you. Relationships work because of mutual love, respect, and support. These are the fundamentals of a healthy relationship where the age gap doesn’t matter. Most importantly, the relationships work when you both have the exact expectations from your relationship.

  1. Communicate openly

Good communication is the key to a healthy relationship. While dating in your 30s, you and your partner will be more comfortable talking about things honestly, clearly, and openly. You are more mature to sort out your fight.

Open communication will not let any misunderstanding harm your bond. Besides, honest communication is a charm to develop trust and strengthen your bond.

  1. Don’t settle

Even if you are in your 40s, don’t settle in a relationship when you are only thinking about it. Such relationships aren’t healthy and don’t last long. Many people in their 30s, especially women, want to settle and build their families. Not settling in their 30s is a panic that results in settling with a person who doesn’t even give them a sense of security.

Instead of panicking over the passing years, make yourself believe you should wait for the right person instead of regretting your whole life. It’s better to adopt a child with a person you love rather than have biological children with a partner with whom you are not aligned.

  1. Forget the past

Most people are single in their 30s and have to deal with severe heartbreak. It can be cheating, ghosting, or even a divorce. It’s important to understand that life is all about new experiences. Your past experiences make you strong but don’t include them as a constant reminder.

Don’t let your past affect your present and future. Focus on your situation and what you are planning for your future. To progress in life, you must forget the past; with time, your past will help you heal.

  1. Avoid negative thinking

Suppose you have had a few failed partnerships, relationships, or marriages; forget about it. Don’t let this break up build up any negative thinking or negative emotions get you. If you notice your mind spinning in the mud of fear, choose a new thought and let the negative review brings the best out of you.

While meeting a new person, give them a chance, and if things don’t work out, don’t destine yourself to live alone. We all think we have substantial control over our lives, but we only control a little. We can continually improve to grasp the being held out of reach as something better is already waiting for us.

  1. Dump your Divorce Bias

The divorce rate is falling in America, but your perfect date may be a divorce. When dating in your 30s, feeling jealous and comparing yourself with your former partner is common. One way to overcome the jealousy due to their former spouse is by thinking they help your partner become the person they are.

The main benefit of dating a divorcee is that they have learned much from their previous marriage and are more attentive in their new relationship. What is dating like in your 30s? We all eternally work in progress, and our last relationship experience helped us a lot in grooming and evolving. Please take it as a benefit you get while being close to him.

  1. Don’t date someone you are not that into

If you are not interested in someone, stop talking to them, texting them, and hanging out with them. Life is too short to waste on a person you don’t see your future with. Instead of wasting time on that person, have a healthy and sound sleep.

In many ways, dating is much more efficient in the 30s, as you know what to optimize for. Use this for your benefit by completely cutting knots with the dead-end relationships.


Many people ask; what is dating like in your 30s? Dating can be complicated at any age, but entering a whole new decade can introduce unique setoff nuances if you think you have finally nailed the dating game in your 20s. Then the 30s can be frustrating for you. A new decade comes with a whole lot of challenges.

In your 30s, you are more serious about your life, career, and feelings. Though I admit there are some negatives, like the unnecessary pressure of society to be in a relationship, there are many positives. Be free to make the most accurate decision for yourself.


  • What is dating like in your 30s?

Dating in the 30s has its pros and cons, as mentioned above. But one thing is clear it is a lot different from dating in your 20s. In your 30s, you are more authentic toward your feelings. Instead of looking for the gorgeous one, you are looking for a soul mate.

  • How common is being single at 30?

Yes, if you are single at 30, then you are not alone. About 44% of the people in their thirties aren’t married. Since the last few generations, the marriage timing is continuously changing. In the past, it was more common for people to marry at a young age, but now during the twenties, people are more focused on a career.

  • What do guys in their thirties look for in women?

In the thirties, instead of looks, men look for a person who is honest, fun, and bubbly personality. In their thirties, men are serious about their relationship and looking for a soul mate to spend their whole life with.

  • What is the perfect age gap for dating?

Most Americans believe that the 10 years plus age gap should be socially acceptable for both men and women to date others.

  • Is 35 too old to date someone?

Whether you are 75 or 35, it’s always early enough to date a person or to fall in love. I had seen a woman who found her true love when she was 76. Love sees no age, and it’s never late to love someone madly.

Also Read: 16 years old dating 23-year-old UK – Is it legal?


Estelle J. Garrido

Estelle J. Garrido

I'm a full-time blogger who loves to write about relationships, self-help and technology. I receive a fair amount of marriage proposals, but I am happily married to myself ? I really enjoy helping others realize how easy it is to find the right person and how to sustain healthy relationship.

  1. […] Dating in your 30s feels different and takes on a different tone. Suddenly you are promoted from a carefree 20something to a more mature person who wants to settle with their soul mate.  […]

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